Hetero Humor™
- Man: *get shot in the leg and robbed*
- Man: heh heh heh… Well boys… It could’ve been worse… I could’ve been SHOPPING with the WIFE! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
imagine being a newborn baby. u could fuck with people so hard. like someone goes “oh, how old are you?” you go “55”. they get confused as fuck. “wtf? u dont look close to 55”. at this point u have the upper hand. you smirk, and say “55…minutes”. everyone gets a good laugh. imagine
this may be a strong contender for best porn intro.
“erm…okay”
“IMMMMMNOT ATTABEACH, S'A BATHTUB”
ARE WE POSITIVE THIS ISN’T FROM AN EPISODE OF ALL THAT OR SOMETHING
i don’t think they told that man what kind of movie he was going to be in
??????????????????????????????????????????????
I know there’s a lot of talk abt how fuckin weird 2016 is but honestly I miss how finding weird shit affected me a few years back. like I remember finding a whole blog 100% seriously dedicated 2 shipping the evil guy and the platypus from phineas and ferb and that fucked me up for a whole month, that was all I could think about whenever I logged on to Tamblr Dot Com for an entire month. if I found it today I’d just be like “yeah that makes sense” and wouldn’t give it a second thought.
I don’t know why I pretended to not know dr doofenshmirtz’s name. I knew his name why did I lie to everyone
rcah:
kylie jenner’s oscar worthy snapchat story…
lmaoooo at Caitlyn being on the bed
FUCK ME UP THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER SEEN
This is fucking insane
i am dead